I feel a word on self-worth is necessary.
I believe that every woman or man has the same amount of worth, and that doesn't change. Period.
However, respect is a different thing- a relative concept to each and every person- that can fluctuate based on perception, interaction, living with someone, etc.
I will admit I feel like a fish out of water in this destitute cultural wasteland that tries daily to thwart creative ambition.
This town has thrown me for a huge loop- one that I've tried to deal with rationally, one I've tried to accept for its many quirks and perversions, but the only way it seems I can vent is on a blog, of which I have the free agency to post, and you have the free agency to comment.
So thanks for your anonymous comments.
And though I earnestly try to see your point of view, I really can't justify changing my opinion at this time, because my own experiences with said people have been disappointing, strange or just plain awful. I wish they weren't or hadn't been. I really do.
That being said, I also wish I had more of a reason to 'bleed blue'.
But I just don't.
Never really did.
Never really will.
I tried really hard- there have been some great highs, really just pertaining to university schooling and some great friendships I've made along the way.
But again, I've been disappointed in more ways than one.
So I have 5 months until I'm out, and then you won't have to deal with people "like me" anymore.
And vice-versa.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
On Self-Worth
Posted by Alexandra at 10:05 PM
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9 footnotes:
You justify the position you take and your opinion based on bad circumstances you've had with some most likely rather small sample of the population of people who choose alternative schooling and ways to make a living than yourself. Let's be honest here, if God gave everyone the exact same talents and levels of intelligence, then life would just be really boring. What you fail to realize is that some people can't get into BYU or other universities, or they don't try to because they know they won't do well; this is because they have been given other talents and skills than you. Do you think that just because you may be more intelligent than others you are somehow better and deserve more respect? Do you realize that these people have some other great skills and talents that you DON'T have? What about those who cannot afford college so they work extremely hard and resort to other alternatives to make it by in life? Who does your hair? I hope you don't treat he/or she as poorly in person as you do on your blog! If your hairstylist only knew the horrible things that you have basically insinuated about them, I can be certain that they would never take you as a client again. Then where would your hair be?
I have been following your blog for quite some time, and in response to your "Socialized Cuddling" blog I would like to say that maybe guys aren't into you because you're too perfect, too tall, too pretty, too smart, too ambitious or driven, rather, MAYBE THEY JUST AREN'T THAT INTO YOU. Maybe you should take a lesson from those (in your eyes) second-class-citizen hair school girls or dental hygienists who apparently have enough social skills, wit, and charm to attract boys. I would like to make clear that I myself and am extremely driven, motivated, ambitious, and intelligent individual who attends BYU, yet still feels out of place and rather different from the normal BYU student (despite the fact that you think you're the only one who really doesn't fit the mold). My boyfriend was attracted to me because of my ambitiousness and intelligence and the fact that I stand out from the Provo crowd. He continues to love and praise me for this and is in NO WAY intimidated by it. So I am proof that it is possible to find a good BYU boy (or dare I say "Mormon boy" who didn't attend BYU) who will love you for who you are as an individual as well as your intelligence and motivation and will not be intimidated by it.
To bring you back to the beginning of my comment where I mentioned that your position and opinion is supposedly based on bad experiences you've had with these kind of individuals, I am apt to believe that rather, your opinion is based on your jealousy and needless competition you feel because these girls, as well as many other intelligent, university-attending girls, are able to attract boys whereas you are not. In addition, I feel that you have singled out this group of people merely because it is an easy group to target. Shame on you! You need to learn to respect everyone as well as yourself and maybe eventually a boy will be attracted to you.
Wow. I find it very ironic that Ms. Anonymous is afraid to identify who she is. That speaks volumes. I think we found Exhibit A of the close-minded, judgmental an hypocritical people in Provo.
Let's talk about giving respect to all people... that is, only if they share your opinion.
what can i say, at least you aren't afraid to put your brand on your opinion. although anonymous comments are technically valid, i think if someone is woman enough to say it, she damn well should be big enough to stand by it. just my opinion.
ps my name it tracey and i too attend byu. :)
pss your beautiful alex
I would like to point out that I am not the original anonymous commenter but rather a different one. And I DON'T find it ironic that I chose to submit anonymously. I would rather not create tension and awkwardness in my relationship with Alex but instead point out some opinions I have formed in my few dealings with her. So you say that because I think everyone should be treated with respect I am a close-minded, judgmental, hypocrite? Clearly you do not know the definitions of these words.
No, I think it is ironic that in the same post that you tell Alex to show more respect you repeatedly disrespect her. I do not agree with all of her opinions, but I appreciate her thoughts and her willingness to share them. The comments you make about Alex are very close-minded and judgmental, which is hypocritical for someone who demands respect for all.
Ok wow, I was just about to go to bed but this is getting out of hand. Anonymous- you sound like a decent person, maybe we could be friends. Who even knows?!
Let's stop the bickering.
After all, you don't have to read my blog.
And I get it, they aren't into me! But those who know me know why. goodnight!
In the words of Alex: "I apologize for stating truth."
Now, let's agree to disagree.
Dear Anonymous,
Your posts were shockingly well thought out, not to mention well written. I may not agree with all your statements, or to be fair, with all of Alex's, but both of you are rather impressive. I just wanted say, you seem a critical thinker and as such I am shocked that you would use such strong, harsh language and attitudes to convey your points.
I don't think Al was saying she is ungrateful for her hair stylist, or teeth cleaner, I think she was really trying to vent about the lack of good/strong men surrounding her, that can challenge and uplift her. This seems something that another, obviously strong and intellectual woman like yourself, could be helping her solve instead of parading your good fortune and assuring my friend that others just aren't into her.
And to have the audacity to assure my friend of her subconscious jealousy towards others shows that unfortunately for you you know very little of my lovely friend. Her opinion though a bit abrasive was her's to have, to express, and to stand by.
Likewise, you, are obviously free to comment Anonymously or otherwise, that is what makes various points of view so exciting and dare I say empowering.
Regardless, I do feel that the unnecessary and jarring SHAME ON YOU! of your post must be shot right back at you. As impressive and eloquent as your thoughts were, your attitude for someone "extremely driven, motivated, ambitious, and intelligent" and assumedly a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints seems not one of care, concern, love, or aide, but rather a severe scolding which remains unwarranted. To shame someone for expressing their "close-minded" opinion? Now that, is the cherry on a very satirical sundae.
xoxo
C
Just because BYU might not be everything Alex (or any of us) may have thought it would be....and it might not be our ideal environment, doesn't mean we, in any way, are ungrateful for our time there. I am/was aware that I was one of the "lucky" ones who was accepted to the University...and so many would only be so lucky.
I learned a lot of things at BYU. There were times I wanted to be as far away from Provo as possible and times I loved being there. But it was rarely, if ever, that Provo was my ideal.
And how dare you judge why or how Alex "gets a man" or doesn't. That just makes you a self-righteous witch. So have fun being that way and know that no matter what, we all have Alex's back.
As a side note to A--I love your guts. And just because there is currently a guy famine in your life, does not (in any way) make you any less of a wonderful person.
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