Sunday, November 30, 2008

Gmail:Capacity = Economy:Status

I was never good at analogies. I recall those SAT prep courses where they taught you to 'make a little sentence' to figure it out?

Well I would conjure really over-thought sentences in my head and get the 'correct' analogy match wrong.

like...

BIRD : NEST ::

(A) dog : doghouse (Well a dog only sleeps in the doghouse or if it is scolded, unless it's the huge dog in The Sandlot and then it DOES in fact live in a dog house...until the end, of course...)
(B) squirrel : tree (A squirrel may live in a tree if it is running for refuge from a larger animal, trying to cheat Darwinism)

(C) beaver : dam (A beaver makes a dam, and lives nearby, I presume- you'd want to live by something you've taken time and pride in building?)

(D) cat : litter box (Well, this is where the cat does it's duty and I'm not sure how a bird's intestinal system works, sooo.....)
(E) book : library (Library books have transient existences, like birds that come and go?...)


So is it the fact that the bird lives in a nest like a dog in a doghouse, creates a nest like a beaver a dam, retreats to the nest like a squirrel a tree, does it's duty like a cat in a litterbox, or are they trying to make you think along the lines of how birds live transient lives, going and returning like books at a library?!?!


See, I'm confused!!!





Anyway....

Nowadays, everyone and their dog (or bird, squirrel, cat, beaver...) has a Google mail email account.

I am pretty prolific with the G: people will walk past me and laugh at my octopus-like capabilities to compose an email, a new blogger post all while balancing 4 open g-chats (usually one NYC, one Ogden, one SLC, and one in the same room just for giggles).

But I have a problem with the Gmail homepage claims that one never has to delete anything.

Just archive away. Make your life easier. Make the email experience 'fun' ...it claims.
(I wish I could do that with other things in my life- just archive them away...and forget)

The problem is when you archive then remember too late when the issues at hand are no longer timely... Whoops...

Gmail Labels have changed my life by compartmentalizing and color-coding my archived items, but it occurred to me recently that perhaps I need to exercise a little discernment when archiving:

My Gmail capacity is now 24% full!

What the heck, Gmail?

Why does your little "counter" keep going up when, like the US economy, I feel as if I'm nearing the brink of disaster over no remaining space?

So I wanted to know, do any of you actually have to delete stuff in your Gmail like me, as opposed to Google's claim that you should/can/are able to archive everything??

Friday, November 28, 2008

In Honor of Black Friday

In honor of Black Friday, I bring you some items worthy of the Recessionista in all of us!

First, Michelle O. budget style, courtesy of the Huffington Post (thanks Kate!):


I would argue she is even more style savvy than Jackie O., because according to a Vogue article I read last year, Jackie was ALL Valentino's creation. Can't find the original article, but here's a Wiki link that begins to prove my point.


Now, three NY Times articles on a 5AM stampede earlier this morning, death of a Wal-Mart worker (I hate Wal-Mart but this is sad), and of course, the obvious article about Americans losing their spending appetite. I'm out in rural Wyoming where the closest mall is no less than 5 hours away, but the urbanite has to stay connected somehow, be it Nytimes online on a sketchy Wi-fi system....

So before my connection to the outside world dies on me, and in honor of the fact that I have not seen High School Musical 3 yet (should I?), I bring you this.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Wyoming Wonderland

I find it no ironic coincidence that "Native New Yorker" (yes the retro song by Odyssey) came on my iPod, quite literally, as we touched down at the Yellowstone Wyoming Airport yesterday.

Yes the city girl herself is currently located in the least populated state in the United States, a population at least 1/4 the size of Queens (a borough of NYC).

I was preparing myself for a bleak, sad, melancholy time but all this Buffalo Bill/Indian lore is growing on me...in a funny way: I take respite in family chats framed by historical discussions of Custer's legacy, the former WY Japanese internment camps of WWII, a proposal if smallpox really gave the US victory in the Wild West, and hallmarked with updates on each cousin's current academic achievements.

And as long as I can snuggle up in bed with NY Magazine, in which I read this article on a "New Deal" proposal (Did I call it or DID I CALL IT!), this picturesque barrenness is not too bad at all.


(PS: I saw that slanted white Calatrava bridge in Seville, and wondered what that modernity meant in the middle of Andalucia until I read the sidebar to the above linked article.
Thanks NY Mag!)

___________________________


Oh , and just to make you feel better about tomorrow:
This little ditty on Models' holiday eating confessions.

(Hint: The best part is the comments at the bottom.)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Fueling the Fire

To my readers:

I want to give a cheery hello and just clear the air that yeah, ok, maybe I offend you or you may not agree with things I say, but I thank you for reading my blog. Sincerely.

That being said, to respond to all the out-of-the-woodwork anonymous hatred expressed towards my opinions lately, I recall the NBC Bob Costas interview with Michael Phelps, fresh from winning his 8th gold medal. Along with being congratulated by Mark Spitzer (former record holder), Costas was asking Phelps about what he did to realize this dream, even in the face of opposition (for example, Ian Thorpe and Cavic had mocked the idea he could achieve the feat of an 8 gold medal sweep).
As oaf-y and dull and a little unintelligent I think Phelps comes across in the media (please do flame away at that opinion of mine if you are so inclined or know him to be otherwise), he responded with a pearl of wisdom that has stuck with me, along the lines of "I openly welcome comments from dissenters because it only motivates me to work harder and prove them wrong."

Now, in relation to this blog, my goal is not to really "win someone over" or "prove someone wrong" with my opinions, I really just want to be a good writer and entertain and highlight truths, as I see them (however funny or awful or wrong you think them to be), about my current circumstances and living situation.

And that being said, it is a huge source of flattery to know you tuned in to burntmustard, and my words were compelling enough to make you all comment, positively or negatively.

I appreciate your readership, even if you now somehow hate me or think I give BYU a bad rap, et al...

To my friends, you are some of the most intelligent jewels I've met in my life that I wouldn't trade for anything.

And to all, don't worry, there will be a tell-all (eh, tell-some) book published within the next ten years that you will all be able to read.


That being said, who's ready for Thanksgiving?
Now thats something we can ALL agree on.


In other news:

I went to the COLDPLAY concert at Energy Solutions this past Saturday, and now my voice is hoarse from screaming all of the songs. From "Fix You" to "The Hardest Part" to "Viva la Vida" to an encore performance of "Yellow," it was amazing. I have even more respect for Chris Martin and clan- they are really talented.


Ashlee Simpson's new baby boy's name takes THE CAKE in all time worst baby names:
You thought "Apple," "Honor" or "Suri" were weird...
how about Bronx Mowgli Wentz.
Wow.


I've also been listening to the new Britney Spears 'CIRCUS' album
(thanks to my loyal Free Swag Queen who never lets me down),
and I just have one conclusion:
B. Spears is definitely THE queen of comeback.


And....
I bring you another Michelle Obama article (really cannot get enough of that woman), with sprinklings of advice from Cherie Blair (wife of Tony).
Enjoy.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

On Self-Worth

I feel a word on self-worth is necessary.

I believe that every woman or man has the same amount of worth, and that doesn't change. Period.

However, respect is a different thing- a relative concept to each and every person- that can fluctuate based on perception, interaction, living with someone, etc.

I will admit I feel like a fish out of water in this destitute cultural wasteland that tries daily to thwart creative ambition.

This town has thrown me for a huge loop- one that I've tried to deal with rationally, one I've tried to accept for its many quirks and perversions, but the only way it seems I can vent is on a blog, of which I have the free agency to post, and you have the free agency to comment.

So thanks for your anonymous comments.

And though I earnestly try to see your point of view, I really can't justify changing my opinion at this time, because my own experiences with said people have been disappointing, strange or just plain awful. I wish they weren't or hadn't been. I really do.

That being said, I also wish I had more of a reason to 'bleed blue'.
But I just don't.
Never really did.
Never really will.
I tried really hard- there have been some great highs, really just pertaining to university schooling and some great friendships I've made along the way.
But again, I've been disappointed in more ways than one.

So I have 5 months until I'm out, and then you won't have to deal with people "like me" anymore.
And vice-versa.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

The New New Deal

Have you seen the new Podcast on iTunes of President-elect Obama's
"Videos from the President Elect: Obama-Biden Transition Project"?

It's like the 21st century version of FDR's Fireside Chats like...Podcast Chats!

And if you didn't see this ingenious photo illustration on the cover of TIME Magazine, it sheds more light.


Yay Barack. Put people back to work.
I'm curious to see what the 21st century version of the WPA will be.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Angelina Jolie's Carefully Orchestrated Image


Whoever is not obsessed, or at least intrigued, with Angelina Jolie, is a martian.

The media's coverage of her, Brad and their brood is incessantly never ending.
Especially the coverage of Shiloh and the twins as if they were the Messiah.

Dabbling in PR in NYC this summer, this NY Times article makes a lot of sense.
I have no doubt she does a lot of good in the world, but this is just interesting.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mitt mixes 'n mingles with the NY Times!

Okay, maybe I really am partial to the free market... Or maybe I just love Mitt...

In any case, I can't believe the NY Times ran his anti-bailout op-ed piece!

But as my dad says, he does have "serious street cred" with this stuff...

Here's the official link.


Let Detroit Go Bankrupt

By Mitt Romney

Published Nov. 18, 2008


IF General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler get the bailout that their chief executives asked for yesterday, you can kiss the American automotive industry goodbye. It won’t go overnight, but its demise will be virtually guaranteed.

Without that bailout, Detroit will need to drastically restructure itself. With it, the automakers will stay the course — the suicidal course of declining market shares, insurmountable labor and retiree burdens, technology atrophy, product inferiority and never-ending job losses. Detroit needs a turnaround, not a check.

I love cars, American cars. I was born in Detroit, the son of an auto chief executive. In 1954, my dad, George Romney, was tapped to run American Motors when its president suddenly died. The company itself was on life support — banks were threatening to deal it a death blow. The stock collapsed. I watched Dad work to turn the company around — and years later at business school, they were still talking about it. From the lessons of that turnaround, and from my own experiences, I have several prescriptions for Detroit’s automakers.

First, their huge disadvantage in costs relative to foreign brands must be eliminated. That means new labor agreements to align pay and benefits to match those of workers at competitors like BMW, Honda, Nissan and Toyota. Furthermore, retiree benefits must be reduced so that the total burden per auto for domestic makers is not higher than that of foreign producers.

That extra burden is estimated to be more than $2,000 per car. Think what that means: Ford, for example, needs to cut $2,000 worth of features and quality out of its Taurus to compete with Toyota’s Avalon. Of course the Avalon feels like a better product — it has $2,000 more put into it. Considering this disadvantage, Detroit has done a remarkable job of designing and engineering its cars. But if this cost penalty persists, any bailout will only delay the inevitable.

Second, management as is must go. New faces should be recruited from unrelated industries — from companies widely respected for excellence in marketing, innovation, creativity and labor relations.

The new management must work with labor leaders to see that the enmity between labor and management comes to an end. This division is a holdover from the early years of the last century, when unions brought workers job security and better wages and benefits. But as Walter Reuther, the former head of the United Automobile Workers, said to my father, “Getting more and more pay for less and less work is a dead-end street.”

You don’t have to look far for industries with unions that went down that road. Companies in the 21st century cannot perpetuate the destructive labor relations of the 20th. This will mean a new direction for the U.A.W., profit sharing or stock grants to all employees and a change in Big Three management culture.

The need for collaboration will mean accepting sanity in salaries and perks. At American Motors, my dad cut his pay and that of his executive team, he bought stock in the company, and he went out to factories to talk to workers directly. Get rid of the planes, the executive dining rooms — all the symbols that breed resentment among the hundreds of thousands who will also be sacrificing to keep the companies afloat.

Investments must be made for the future. No more focus on quarterly earnings or the kind of short-term stock appreciation that means quick riches for executives with options. Manage with an eye on cash flow, balance sheets and long-term appreciation. Invest in truly competitive products and innovative technologies — especially fuel-saving designs — that may not arrive for years. Starving research and development is like eating the seed corn.

Just as important to the future of American carmakers is the sales force. When sales are down, you don’t want to lose the only people who can get them to grow. So don’t fire the best dealers, and don’t crush them with new financial or performance demands they can’t meet.

It is not wrong to ask for government help, but the automakers should come up with a win-win proposition. I believe the federal government should invest substantially more in basic research — on new energy sources, fuel-economy technology, materials science and the like — that will ultimately benefit the automotive industry, along with many others. I believe Washington should raise energy research spending to $20 billion a year, from the $4 billion that is spent today. The research could be done at universities, at research labs and even through public-private collaboration. The federal government should also rectify the imbedded tax penalties that favor foreign carmakers.

But don’t ask Washington to give shareholders and bondholders a free pass — they bet on management and they lost.

The American auto industry is vital to our national interest as an employer and as a hub for manufacturing. A managed bankruptcy may be the only path to the fundamental restructuring the industry needs. It would permit the companies to shed excess labor, pension and real estate costs. The federal government should provide guarantees for post-bankruptcy financing and assure car buyers that their warranties are not at risk.

In a managed bankruptcy, the federal government would propel newly competitive and viable automakers, rather than seal their fate with a bailout check.

Mitt Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts, was a candidate for this year’s Republican presidential nomination.

A version of this article appeared in print on November 19, 2008, on page A35 of the New York edition.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

University >>> Dental Hygiene > Hair School

That is the most left brained title I have ever posted. Wow.

So you're probably wondering what it all means.

Let's cross over to my right brained monologue where I won't scare you with anything related to pythagorean theorems, or anything like unto that nature...blech...

Among other perturbing things, Provo culture is chalk full of Hair School (Paul Mitchell, Bon Losee, Dallas Roberts...they keep popping out like babies at the Provo Hospital) and Dental Hygiene 'students' who justify their 'schooling' as "an education."

These 'stylists/hygienists' could have done the aforementioned programs ANYWHERE else in the United States, but slyly and strategically chose PROVO for the plethora of fresh RMs, so confused about how to act around girls, on whom to pounce to check off another box on their celestial kingdom list.

And we girls that attend BYU (or dare I mention in the same sentence, UVU), are forced to "compete" with these simple minded airheads,

when. there. should. be. no. competition. at all.

I digress, it's not a 'competition,' it's just the fact that when someone has hours upon hours of the day to be available to a guy and you're spending that time plugging away at homework, well, then that's not equality now, is it.

But again, the plethora of RMs utterly confused about how to act around girls as they've had to be completely completely celibate for the past 2 years (like, no hugging of the opposite sex; handshakes only) doesn't help.

And then, when 5 years down the road and these boys' maturity level finally kicks in, they go through an identity crisis realizing they're waking up every morning with a girl who does not how to turn on an oven or pay a bill (true stories).

But man, can their wives do a good perm and teeth cleaning.

I'll give the stylists and hygienists credit. I am not cavity-free, and still have yet to gain the patience to properly use a blow drier.
(my way: flip the head over, blow-dry the crap out of it, then flip myself rightside up, smooth down ensuing frightfully poofy hair with biosilk and flatiron a little).

But again, it sickens me that I'm even have reason to be concerned about this. Not that I am directly worried, (because someone who is interested in a Paul Mitchell alumna is not going to be interested in me), but I thought Provo, UT, was a place full of boys and girls who would all be so excited about each other's ambitions, goals, hopes and dreams.

I didn't realize there are these interceding cockroaches that enter the equation and mess it up for the rest of us, redefining the definition of female 'accessibility' and 'easiness'...not to mention the standard of 'intelligence.'

And that's a problem.

This is one of the many reasons I'm very eager to leave Provo-- these boys here just can't discern a quality girl if it hit them in the head or invited them to a Coldplay concert because we have an extra ticket.

They're just too interested in one that is easy, accessible, and always available, and ambition-less so they can feel really great about themselves as the smarter one in their marriage completing their 3 remaining years of post-mission schooling and having to take on a part-time job because their wife gets pregnant because she's bored (see the Seriously, So Blessed! blog).

Well, I'd surely be bored if all I did all day was look at teeth and hair.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I want a VF column like Veruca Salt wants a golden egg

I love Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
When my study abroad friends and I wanted to save cash in random hotels/hostels on our random European trips (Portugal, Morocco), we would share beds. One time the five of us shared two double beds, alternating head and feet, kind of like Charlie Bucket's grandparents.


I blogged a while ago about my love affair with Vanity Fair, and I've found out that they have an LDS columnist.

Needless to say, I feel like Veruca Salt screaming at her daddy for a golden egg when I say I want a Vanity Fair column too!!!

If Cassandra Handley can do it (and Kristina Stewart Ward at Vogue, and Jane Clayson Johnson for CBS), I'm convinced I can too.


Here Cassandra defends the Church's Prop 8 involvement.

And here's the rest of her stuff.



A little jealous,
Alex

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Anderson Cooper. In the flesh.

Best friends and journalists, all together to see the silver fox himself.
We were still screaming/waving our hands/hyperventilating an HOUR after this was taken. Literally.



(I said, "Maddie look at me!"... and Anderson looked over just as I was clicking to shoot the photo. GENIUS.)


I'm literally at a loss for words for how INCREDIBLE he was, so read Kate's post on this expectation-exceeding occasion we experienced last night.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Stuff White People Like

Wow, I am rolling on the floor at these 'racial digs' at myself and my fellow WASP-y caucasians, courtesy of StuffWhitePeopleLike.com

For example:

#115 PROMISING TO LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE

"Throughout history, white people have a pretty poor record when it comes to promises (see Americans, Native for examples). Thankfully, modern white people are trying to erase the shame of the past by making promises to themselves that they will never keep.

Writing a novel, going vegan, or sending their future kid to public school are just a few of these great breakable promises. But by far the most common self improvement promise is to learn a new language.

This plan is first formulated when white people realize that two years of college Italian does not confer fluency. For the most part, these classes will only teach a white person how to order food in a restaurant, ask for a train schedule, and over pronounce words when they are mixed into English. Amazingly this small amount of proficiency is more than enough to warrant inclusion on a resume under “spoken languages.”

For many white people the lack of a second language is their greatest secret shame. It fills them with so much shame that they will literally spend the rest of their lives promising to learn a new language, but not so much shame that they will actually do it....."


I AM VICTIM TO THIS. MUST BE WHITE!



Friday, November 14, 2008

RYANAIR: The Future of Travel

At this point in history, it's pretty accurate to propose that probably only the Amish are unaware of globalization's imminence.

And even amidst a worldwide economic crisis, it is now possible to jump continents for the cost of going out to lunch:

RYANAIR, the once go-to transportation mode for penny pinching student backpackers in Europe, is going TRANSATLANTIC.


True to their low-budget standard, a flight from London to NYC will set a passenger back about 10 Euro (about $14).

So genius, it made the NY Mag's "Brilliant" square on their Nov. 17 Approval Matrix.

If you're not familiar with it, Ryanair is the original low-budget European airline, the one making Europe trains go out of business by offering INSANELY low cost flights while managing to stay totally legit with licensed pilots and aircraft, etc.

Their their trick is no "free" drinks/food (I read something a while ago that "complimentary" beverages on flights actually costs a passenger about $15), no free checked baggage, open seating, hubbing at the less popular of European city airports (which is sometimes a hassle but the Ryanair experience is so no-frills, you don't really care), and more advertising.

For example, I flew round trip to Portugal from Spain for about $20.

And one way from Spain to Brussels for about $8.

After a 16-hour train ride from Florence to Barcelona, I vowed never to train Europe again (although the view coming into Monaco is so breathtaking, I may have to do the Milan to Marseille leg again one day).



I once studied Ryanair in a marketing class. They are so genius- the CEO's ultimate goal is to have passengers fly free by getting others to pay for it- kind of like TV (advertisers, etc).



And if that weren't enough, they publish a totally clever in-flight magazine that even I would be stoked to work for if I ever got offered.




Now that Ryanair is hopping major bodies of ocean...just imagine one day being able to travel the whole world for pocket change.

Amazing.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

SNUGGLE BUNNY: FOUND!

BREAKING NEWS:

I FOUND MY SNUGGLE BUNNY!





The Boyfriend Pillow, available on Amazon!

You better believe this is going on my Christmas list
(only half kidding- am I worrying you? because I am laughing harder than I have all week)!


If you are tuning in fresh to burntmustard, let me link to the post where I propose socialized snuggle bunnies and justice for all.



Now, if only a good real one was as easy as $44.95.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Try to make me a STYLISTA, I say NO....NO....NO....

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

I watched the first three episodes of the new CW show "Stylista" last night and it scared the shizz out of me because:


A) I KNOW the challenges are really hard (I'm learning how to do new media page design and can't imagine putting together a feature page in half an hour...),

and B) I KNOW, and was reminded of how the NY fashion world is

REALLY.
THAT.
CUTTHROAT.


Really.


Like Anne Slowey? She's a dime a dozen there. She's a witch in the show, and you can count on the fact she's even more in real life.

So much, Slowey makes Nina Garcia on Project Runway look like Maria von Trapp. The irony is that Slowey actually replaced Garcia as Elle's Fashion Director right before they started filming Stylista (but don't cry for Nina, she's at Marie Claire now).


(Garcia and Slowey)- courtesy of NY Magazine

My Harper's Bazaar intern roommate this summer would tell me some all about the horrid remarks the Marketing Director would make to her colleagues, not just the interns (not to mention the interns slaved away delivering designer clothes via subway all day every day).

After a particularly distressed day, I recall she and I having a talk about basic human decency.

(Although I will say, that is another reason why NYC is so intriguing to me-- how sometimes the most progressively intellectual people in the world can be that inhumane, while sometimes the most decent are the ones on the streets).

Seriously.

Like, I was thinking about if any of my future daughters wanted to go into fashion, I'd say watch Stylista first and then decide.

But I will say, the graphic page design stuff they do on Stylista is pretty close to what I want to be doing, but for sure NOT FASHION.

Because fashion is merciless.

And
really.
that.
cutthroat.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

11-11: You are SO Lucky...

Since 11/11 is a star-crossed superstitiously lucky day.....

(my Glamour Mag horoscope predicts many men will be awaiting me under the mistletoe this year. Try to contain your cosmic jealousy)

..... you burntmustard readers are also SO lucky (recall the "Rucky" post of this past summer), because here I am posting TWICE in one day.

I'd like to start by just reiterating how luckily honored I am to have such a loyal fanbase. I realize 97% of you do not comment, and that is fine, though I am a writer so I will openly admit I love affirmation and feedback. I would urge you at least consider commenting sometimes.

Because I know you're out there.

Even a simple "lol" would suffice. Yes, you.


-----------------------

First: Wow, can I just say the fashion industry is really digging deep.....(pun intended)....or something.....


Is it the economy? We can't even afford clothes anymore? Are they feeding models even less than cigarettes and salads?

Or... is it genius?

Because take it or leave it: never have exoskeletons been so chic.




And Second:
Here's another reason to NOT burn Mormon temples.
After the Prop 8 fiasco (in which the under 1% of California's Mormon population is now under huge scrutiny for somehow controlling another 51% to vote Yes on the measure), we know that at least the Irish don't hate us and our baptisms for the dead.

At least this Belfast Telegraph columnist in the article titled
"What if Mormons Are Right and Catholics and Protestants Wrong?"

I don't like his headline because I do not think Catholics and Protestants are straight up wrong...but McCann goes into why it actually makes sense to baptize in proxy for the deceased rather than babies.

Here's the lead:
"Why are the Catholic bishops so concerned about Mormons baptising dead parishioners? The Mormons didn’t invent baptism of the dead. The practice has a significant history within mainstream Christianity..."

I am such a tease....so go read the full article here.

And don't worry, Sir Eamonn McCann, you can eternally "comeupp" with me.

This is just mortal probation. No big if you've forgotten-- the veil is kinda thick sometimes.



Hopefully you won't consider the irony of a a post dedicated to bones on the runway and baptizing for the dead sacrilege.

Daddy-O and Michelle O

My dad has a streak of rebel hell raising.

Raised in DC, he thinks politics is acrimony.

But instead of simply claiming indifference to it all, he likes to pick little quarrels against the debating side at hand.

Whenever somebody says something in favor of the GOP, he'll complain that "they're all in bed with oil companies anyway."

When I told him I voted Obama, he proceeded to send me stuff like this.






And...








And then this story about Teachers

(Alli J.R., Science Educator, I'm calling you out)...


"After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said....

'Let me see if I've got this right: 'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.

'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior,and make sure that they all pass the state exams...

'You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

You want me to do all this and then you tell me.................'I CAN'T PRAY?' "

______________________________________________________




And just to push my buttons because I am a journalist, he'll FWD me (the extent of his internet skill set) stories like this...


"The Biker and the Lion"

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.'

The biker replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'm a journalist from the New York Times, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have? '

The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'

-----------------

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

"U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH”
_______________________________________________________________






And in REAL news....


I am reading the "Audacity of Hope" right now and love it and him.


And I just read THIS in Glamour yesterday and I love love love love her.




I want to be just like her (sans the lawyer part- just not my thing).
And so, as my mom says, I'll just have to find my Barack!

Monday, November 10, 2008

I believe in V-day Love

This photo hung in way too many a Helaman Hall dorm room...




Now....









she's back!!!

Edith Shain, foreground right, the nurse in the famous photograph taken by Alfred Eisenstaedt of a sailor kissing a nurse in New York's Times Square on V-J Day, tries to imitate the photo's embrace with Nick Mayo, foreground left, a member of the cast of the musical South Pacific as they pose with other South Pacific cast members at the Vivian Beaumont Theater in New York, Sunday Nov. 9, 2008.
Shain, 90, is in New York to serve as the grand marshal of the 2008 New York City Veterans Day parade. (AP Photo/Tina Fineberg)


Nurse in Times Square war photo reunites with Navy
By RICHARD PYLE
Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK (AP) _ A 90-year-old who says she's the woman being kissed by a sailor in Times Square in one of World War II's most famous photographs reunited in town with the Navy on Sunday — days before she is to serve as grand marshal of the city's Veterans Day parade.

Edith Shain of Los Angeles, donning a white nurse's uniform like the one she wore back in 1945, went to see the musical revival of "South Pacific" and posed for pictures, being hoisted off her feet on stage by five of the actors in their Navy whites.

On Tuesday, she'll ride in the parade at the head of a contingent of World War II veterans.

The "South Pacific" event was a touching reminder of history, but very different from Aug. 15, 1945, the day Shain recalls that she joined thousands of people whooping it up after Japan surrendered. Right there on Broadway and 45th Street, a sailor suddenly grabbed and kissed her — and the moment was caught by Alfred Eisenstaedt, a Life magazine photographer.

His picture from V-J Day became one of the 20th century's most iconic images. But Eisenstaedt didn't get the names of either party, and efforts years later by Life to identify them produced a number of claimants, says Bobbi Baker Burrows, a Life editor with deep knowledge of the subject.

About 1980, Shain recalls, she wrote a letter to Life, identifying herself as the woman in the nurse's uniform. Eisenstaedt wrote back and later visited her in California and gave her a copy of the photo. But Eisenstaedt, who died in 1995, was never sure that Shain was the woman in the photo, Burrows said.

Because of renewed interest in the subject, she recalled, "Life decided to run an article saying, 'If you are the sailor or the nurse in the picture, please step forward.'"

"We received claims from a few nurses and dozens of sailors, but we could never prove that any of them were the actual people, and Eisenstaedt himself just said he didn't know," she said.

Even the fact that Shain stands only 4 feet 9 isn't helpful in analyzing the photo, in which the sailor has her in what looks more like a death grip than an embrace, with both of their faces obscured.

By her own account, Shain said she could not identify the bussing boy in blue.

"I went from Doctors Hospital to Times Square that day because the war was over, and where else does a New Yorker go?" she said. "And this guy grabbed me and we kissed, and then I turned one way and he turned the other. There was no way to know who he was, but I didn't mind because he was someone who had fought for me."

At least three veterans still lay claim to being the kissing sailor, and at least one other woman has claimed to be the nurse. But Shain, who left nursing to become a kindergarten teacher in Los Angeles for 30 years, appears to hold the edge — by virtue of persistence, an effervescent charm and unabashed patriotism.

"As for the picture," she says, "it says so many things — hope, love, peace and tomorrow. The end of the war was a wonderful experience, and that photo represents all those feelings."



Copyright 2008 The Associated Press.



CUTEST STORY EVER!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

To Market To Market

From People.com

"DEEP THOUGHTS"

Choices, choices! Katie Holmes finds herself on the same level as 2-year-old Suri as the mother-daughter duo thoughtfully ponder their pastry options Friday at the Farmer's Market in New York's Union Square.



How cute are they?!


The fact I lived half a block from the Union Square Greenmarket this past summer explains how said cultural wasteland is killing me right now, even if I am "Sooo L.A." and still get celebrity starstruck.

You'd think NYC would have weaned me of it, but sorry, I guess you can't take the SoCal out of the girl.

You know you love me. XOXO

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Yes, I voted donkey...

So yes, I voted for Obama. Apparently, I'm not the only one....
(See THIS interactive NYT map of final electoral vote count)

It was really an over-thought decision based on the fact I wanted to be able to tell my children one day that I voted for such a revolutionary leader as Barack Obama.

I OVERTHINK EVERYTHING.

Plus, California is not a swing state (always votes Dem), so it didn't really matter...

This is a video of a guy who was in my food writing class this summer
(and the girl on the right is I believe the little sister of a girl I went to high school with- small world in NYC).
This makes me hunger for Union Square and the city energy. Gah!
I'll go ahead and post his Rockefeller/Times Square video too...

But did we seriously think yucky cheeks McCain and airhead Sarah were going to get elected?
I mean, c'mon, Republicans, you really could have made a better ticket (a la Romney-Giuliani....even Romney-McCain...)

Barack is a symbol of hope, of a bipartisan America coming together, of one previously segregated. There still exists this backwards notion of "racism," in the South primarily, and it's such a statement of tolerance for the rest of the world.

And I love how people think he has empty promises.
Like, he JUST got elected yesterday!!

And that everyone thinks he's socialist.
EVERY Democrat's platform always comes off socialist, freaking people out.

(And EVERY Republican comes off as crazy laissez-faire, freaking people out!)

I believe the main ingredient missing is COMPROMISE. That's why I'm a moderate. We balance each other out.


And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Michelle Obama. I think she is incredible.
So educated, so eloquent, so accomplished....so beautiful and tall!
And despite her many accolades, she told a magazine that her first priority should she be elected First Lady would be acclimating her two daughters to life as First Daughters (she got slammed by feminists for that, but I greatly respect her).

As my mom, who very very reluctantly voted McCain said, "I'm actually really excited for our country!"

And Prop 8 passed in California 52-48.
Let's hope the judges don't pull a fast one again, or else we're screwed.

The most interesting thing about election night was seeing my friends' facebook status updates. People from high school saying they were so excited about Obama and so bummed about Prop 8 versus all my mostly Republican friends out here who were mostly just relieved that Prop 8 passed and already starting to rally for Mitt Romney 2012.

My news feed read like:

"NO on Prop 8"
"Getting out the vote for John McCain"
"Obamamania in Times Square= amazing"
"So proud to be American"
"thrilled"
"scared for our country"
"YES on Prop 8"
"believes we can"
and my favorite...

"so over it"

We live in a great country.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

ELECTION DAY

Dear Democracy,

Today is the day every 4 years the world looks at you from afar with awe and admiration.
You show stealer, you.
And even though you are not perfect, you have been so dear and wonderful to me.
Thank you for allowing me the chance to have an opinion and vote, free from fear of death for doing so.
(sorry that preposition is dangling like a dimpled chad, but since it's America, I'm going to allow myself that freedom to dangle)

Right now, I am up late doing research on Poverty in America for my Issues in Global Communication class, and listening to some good 'ol sappy love songs to help me get through....

And Vanessa Carlton's "White Houses" just came on and I laughed out loud upon realizing the irony of this eve/day.


GO VOTE.

If for no other reason than a free cup of Starbuck's joe!

Here's some more democratic stuff for your enjoyment:

From Jib/Jab (remember the 2004 Bush/Kerry stuff? Classic!):

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!



AND





Shout out to the white guy in the back (0:14)

Love the girl on the right at 2:22.



Here are the lyrics!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain’s the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They’ll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama’s new, he’s younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He’ll bring a change, he’s got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq’s a shame
Four more years would be insane

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won’t
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won’t!
Have enough experience - you know that they don’t
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won’t

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you’re going to have some drama
We need it
HE’LL BRING IT
He’ll be it
YOU’LL SEE IT
We’ll do it
GET TO IT
Let’s move it
DO IT!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

I’m talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice

But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN’T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah


I LOVE DEMOCRACY.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Monday Monday Monday

In Mamma Mia, I did not know what they were singing in that "Money Money Money" song. I thought they may have been saying "Monday Monday Monday, must be funday, in a rich man's world" or something. Yeah.

Anyway.

I hate Sundays.

If you are a single girl, living in Provo, it's the day of the week when you wallow around and are mentally screamed at and slapped a thousand times in the face because you don't have a boyfriend with whom to cuddle and take an afternoon nap.

Only on Sundays, when I can't get retail or exercise therapy to combat this pervasive reality of Utah Valley, do I feel this way.

Then BYU co-eds go to Ward Prayer (a Sunday night 30 minute spiritual thought + mix n mingle gathering to wrap up the day...more aptly known as "Ward Stare") for a half-assed flirt effort with lame-a boys who can't muster any confidence to ask you out anyway.

So that is Sunday...

Now, I have a super stressful week ahead of me catching up on projects, presenting, and getting things set for DC next summer and Prague in January...

As if last week wasn't enough with four newspaper packages on the election...Nov. 5 cannot come soon enough...oh wait, that's in 2 days!

ANYWAY...I believe heartache, lovesick longing, and school stress are very similar emotions.
Which is why, when I lived with Brook, she used to play Danity Kane and other sappy R&B love songs during midterms and finals week, because they just kind of capitalized on those mopey emotions and empathized with our heightened hormone levels.

On our playlist then:

Danity Kane- Ride For You

Brian McKnight- 6, 8, 12 (We all agreed this was the slow song at the middle school dance we would later cry over because we didn't get asked)


But now, since I pretty much laugh uncontrollably when I hear those songs (from those finals week memories), I decided to turn to Vanessa Carlton's sappy love songs all weekend to empathize with me through my heartache of stress, since I am a woman and take stress emotionally.

And since I pretty much solidified my love for Vanessa Carlton's talent this summer at her concert in NYC, I have her albums on constant repeat. CONSTANT REPEAT.

On the computer, in the car....a one way trip to SLC will get me through all of "Heroes and Thieves."

Lately, I've been getting into her earlier stuff....aka

"Pretty Baby"
(my iTunes playcount said I played it 29 times this weekend. yes. 2 days...in my room)

"Who's To Say"
(SO SO GOOD)

"Ordinary Day"
(also, just so good)

Oh just if you were wondering if she is that good on the piano,
she is THAT GOOD.
I saw it with mine own eyes.


So instead of playing all that punk/emo crap when you are stressed, give into the power of sappy love songs and they will ache with you as you go about your tests and projects and bleak days.

Then, today I got to the newsroom, and Emiley was playing Missy Higgins, another one of my FAVES.
I used to listen to "Night Minds" and "Any Day Now" staring out of train and bus windows on study abroad.
LOVE MISSY HIGGINS.

AND I LOVE EMILEY.


In OTHER NEWS:

I had a very vivid dream Saturday night...that involved NYC.
I was at some kind of summer camp (think EFY sans cheering and super stringent modesty standards) in Lower Manhattan, but there was a gorgeous temple there on a second floor patio with the EFY place on the first floor underneath.
So it was skit night and we had to go all around the city- no actually, only our group had to go see this one other group's skit.
Up on 242nd street....which is the Bronx aka J-Lo's former hood aka a very bad.
We get there, I am PISSED because obvio these people do not understand we need to LEAVE.
So I go over to FDR highway (which is not even connected to the Bronx but really funny I even knew it was FDR highway in my dream) and stand in the median with my followers (a girl from high school and my study abroad BFFs). After a cabbie denies us (hahaha been there done that!- (read halfway down the post)), a van randomly stops.

We literally hop in like it's a convertible.
Perfect.
Then the girl from high school takes the front seat and we drive really fast down to the Temple grounds/EFY skit ground. but at one point we are driving on water above all the tunnels kind of like that SeaWorld Shark exhibit where the sharks are swimming over your head...only we were above the tunnels of cars.
And she drove really fast, which makes sense because she grew up in Jersey.
And we made it back in time for the next skit. Perf.

I don't really know what it all means except for the fact that I long for NYC. The end.