Facebook Ads: Out Of Control

So I don't know about you, but I think the ads on Facebook sometimes err on the side of ridiculous...

As if NCMO wasn't enough...
And what is with all the IQ Questionnaires?!?!!

I still can't do Magic Eye. Sue me. It was the bane of my second grade existence that I couldn't 'relax my eyes' and see the giraffe.

and these two are gross/trippy:




I list myself as politically 'moderate' but I still get these...

Remember GIGA PETS?!
Better yet, remember when your elementary school had to instill a school-wide quarantine on them!? Wow, we were lame- Now grade schoolers have text messaging. Anyways, these are like 21st century giga pets:

Okay, I know quite a bit about skincare (my regiment is extensive...), but this is NOT how you get clear skin.

And my personal FAVORITE:

YES, PLEASE. How did they know?!!?

Asleep on the Subway

Dedicated to KD and EJ, who share a mutual hate of the F Train.

(Not to mention EJ has been subject of many a subway slumber.)

I don't know what's more impressive:

a) the fact that the lady is juggling Whole Foods AND a box bigger than herself on the tips of her phalanges whilst she dozes,

or that

b) the kid on the left is reading a fashion magazine.

My East/West Schism

Item 1:
I'm back from Boston...the grungy couch surfing caught up to me and now I'm sick. But it was worth it, even if now my throat makes me sound like I licked an ashtray with that raspy Maggie Gyllenhaal crinkle as if I were to order a bagel "light on tha schmea!"

Oh, now I'm thinking about lox and that makes me sad.

I promise I didn't get my cold from some East Coast prepster (how I fancy them so).
Though I swear I saw more attractive men, shirts tucked in (aww!) with that perfect balance of equal parts European sophistication and American pragmatism than I've seen in my 4 years in Provo.
Seriously.

Item 2:
So I came across Will's blog and remembered why I adore him...
If I lived in NYC, I would want him to be my Stanford Blatch wingman.

Item 3:
This 9-year old could teach wonders to Cougarfolk.

Item 4:
I confess: so maybe I AM really just skin deep sometimes...
Por ejemplo, the fact that I watched all 10 current episodes of The City within 24 hours. (Hey, commercial free, on MTV's web site: if I planned my days around being home to watch it I would be more worried).
Of all the things that are so mind-boggling unrealistic about the show, the only pervasive thought that keeps coming to mind is their FLAWLESS SKIN (and the fact that NY looks sparkling clean). I understand that they are wearing pounds of makeup but seriously, nobody in New York has peachy blemish-free skin like that.
Everyone knows as soon as you get to the city from somewhere else, you get a fresh crop of city blemishes that don't go away until you leave again.
And I'm convinced that Olivia is not really from the city. Because any true NY'er (let alone someone who's allegedly born and bred) would be downright embarrassed to be on any TV show about it.
So yeah, amongst all the sweeping shots of the Manhattan skyline and nostalgic building/restaurant spotting, all I can really do in the middle of the show is ogle at their clear skin.

Item 5:
I'm training for a half-marathon in early May. And I am notorious for hating running. Should be interesting.

Item 6: Another story to humor you, this just came to me: I will never forget the time I was sitting around Madrid's Puerta del Sol and my friend Sarah was around (I don't know, bumping and grinding or just being her Mexican self)...but for some reason I was alone for a couple minutes....it was 2 AM, the height of a Spanish day, and three Madrilenos come over start talking to me, preguntandome, and their THIRD QUESTION, I KID YOU NOT, was: "What religion are you?"
I thought I might die of hilarity.
If Spaniards struck my fancy, I would have considered them attractive...but they were strangely fixated on talking religion, and because I could not communicate what dear Thomas says below, not to mention that true God-loving Mormons love everyone despite their flaws (novel concept) I was way over it, and since Sarah didn't learn any Spanish in Spain, we had to bail.

We could have partied until noon at Kapital and had an amazing time.
But ah, lo siento, mi amigos, no great story to tell of that.

Greenmarket legend's daughter takes the peel!

I wrote a little while ago about my favorite Greenmarket vendor who had passed away. He was legendary for mesmerizing New Yorkers as he peeled vegetables in Union Square all the live long day.

Now, I'm happy to report his daughter has taken the reins...or the peel!!

She looks adorable!

(Photo courtesy of Eating in Translation)

Musical Gems

There are some musical gems I love.

"Stand" by Jewel is a song of which I don't think I'll ever tire. It's a song about things in life being not what they seem...people and things you put your trust in betraying your expectations, and of course, since it was released in 2003 amidst rumors of Iraq when Hollywood took their anti-Bush hacks, it's a social criticism of America.

(Listen to it here on my blog playlist!)

Walk in a corner shop
See a shoplifting cop
See the old lady with a gun
See the hero try to run
Nothing's what it seems, I mean
It's not all dirty, but it's not all clean
There's children paying bills
There's monks buying thrills
There's pride for sale in magazines
There's pills for rent to make u clean
Marvin Gaye, there's no brother, brother
Woody Guthrie's land can't feed Mother

Chorus: Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one to blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me
It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

A waitress brings me lunch
We meet but do not touch
On TV, D.C. is selling lies
While in the corner, King's dream dies
Go to the counter, pay for me and my friend
A homeless man pulls out a roll, says it's on him
The mayor has no cash
He said he spent it on hookers and hash



And "Got it Good" by Jem, of which I've actually (sadly) burned out.
Thanks to Delta, who has been recently using it for their 'come aboard' and 'as you 'de-plane' music....of which I have a particularly fond recent memory of a serially underbooked transatlantic flight in which I took up an entire middle section of the double aisled plane and slept 8 of the 11 hours of duration using my and two of my phantom seat neighbors' pillows and blankets.
Best flight ever.
But so underbooked I felt bad for my tainted carbon footprint.

Got a soul, got a mind,
got a heart that beats in time.
You've got a smile, got a voice,
got the gift of love.
You've got it good.
Don't forget how lucky you are darling,
darling, use it to connect with everyone.



And I LOVE the new Lily Allen album, "It's Not Me, It's You."


It's hilarious, irreverent and definitely not what you'd expect...dirty lyrics hidden under a guise of sweet melodies and groovy syncopations. And of course, I buckle at any British accent.

F*** you Very Much (dedicated to sociopathic boys)
Do you, do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful.
'Cuz there's a hole where your soul should be
You're losing control of it
And it's really distasteful.

Never Gonna Happen (dedicated to the sociopath)
I can see how it's confusing -- it could be considered using
When I call you up straight out of the blue
But I don't understand what else a girl in my position's to do
Now I know you feel betrayed but it's been weeks since I got laid
This doesn't mean that I don't think you're a fool
But I don't understand what else a girl in my position's to do

Everyone's At It - (a social commentary how everyone's on drugs or vices, from crack to Prozac)
So you’ve got a prescription, yea that makes it legal
Finding excuses, is well over whelming with people
You go to the doctor- you need pills for sleeping
If you can convince him then I guess that’s not cheating
See you’re daughters depressed, we'll get her straight on the Prozac
but little do you know that she already takes crack

Why can't we all just be honest,
Admit to ourselves, that everyone's at it...



Also, Brook is a gem because she likes eccentric music like Imogen's "Rake It In"
(she'll do an interpretive dance for you too, upon request).

Happy 200th

From all of us (me) at Burnt Mustard, happy 200th Post for you!

On Quitting the LDS Church

I received this FWD the other day:

Preface: In a local newspaper in Provo, Utah, there had been an ongoing series of articles written by individuals who wanted to persuade LDS Church members to leave the Church. In response to the highly critical and spirited remarks, a local member wrote this rebuttal:


Editor:

I have been thinking of quitting the Mormon Church. Yes, if I can, I am going to get even with that church. As soon as I can find another church that teaches about the Gathering of the House of Israel; the return of the Ten Tribes and their mission; the return of the Jews to Palestine and why, and how they are going to build the temple; the building of temples and what to do with them; the mission of Elias, the prophet, as predicted by Malachi; the method for the salvation of the people that died at the time of Noah in the flood; the complete explanation of why Jesus of Nazareth had to have a mortal mother but not a mortal father; the explanation of the three degrees of glory (three heavens) as mentioned by Paul; the complete explanation of why Elias and Moses did not die but had to be translated (since they both lived before the resurrection was introduced by Christ); the restoration of the gospel by modern revelation as promised by Peter and Paul and Jesus himself; the belief in eternal marriage and the family, and the knowledge and the place to seal for eternity; that teaches abstinence from all harmful drugs and foods; and that sells the best fire insurance policy on earth, for the last days, for only a 10th of my income.

Yes sir, as soon as I can find another church that teaches all that, or even half as much, I will say good-bye to this Mormon Church. The church that I am looking for must also be able to motivate 50,000+ youth, and adults, for the first, second or third time, to leave their homes for two years at their own expense and go too far-away places to teach and preach without salary. It must be able to call, on a frosty day, some 5 or 6 thousand professors, students, lawyers, doctors, judges, policemen, businessmen, housewives and children to go and pick apples at 6 a.m. It must be able to call meetings and get the attention for two hours of more than 150,000 men. Yes, it must also teach and show why salvation is assured for children who die before eight years of age.

Mr. Editor, could you help me find a church that teaches all that and more than hundreds of other doctrines and principles, which I have no room to mention here, and which bring solace and comfort to the soul; peace, hope, and salvation to mankind, and above all, that answers the key questions that all the great philosophers have asked; questions and answers that explain the meaning of life, the purpose of death, suffering and pain; the absolute need for a Redeemer and the marvelous plan conceived and executed by Jesus Christ the Savior?

Yes, as soon as I find another church that teaches that, and also that has the organization and the powers to make that teaching effective, I am going to quit the Mormon Church. For I should not tolerate that "they" should change a few words in the Book of Mormon-even if those changes simply improve the grammar and the syntax of the verses-for, after all, don't you think the Divine Church should employ angels as bookmakers, and clerks, to do all the chores on earth? Don't you think, Mr. Editor, that the Divine Church should also have prophets that don't get sick and don't get old and die, and certainly, that don't make a goof here and there. No, sir! A Divine Church should be so divine that only perfect people should belong to it, and only perfect people should run it. As a matter of fact, the Church should be so perfect that it should not even be here on earth!

So, I repeat, if any one of the kind readers of this imperfect letter knows about another church that teaches and does as much for mankind as the Mormon Church, please let me know. And please do it soon, because my turn to go to the cannery is coming up. Also, "they" want my last son (the fifth one) to go away for two years and again, I have to pay for all that. And I also know that they expect me to go to the farm to prune trees, and I have heard that our ward is going to be divided again, and it is our side that must build the new chapel. And also, someone the other day had the gall of suggesting that my wife and I get ready to go on a second mission, and when you come back, they said, you can volunteer as a temple worker.

Boy, these Mormons don't leave you alone for a minute. And what do I get for all that, I asked? "Well," they said, "for one, you can look forward to a funeral service at no charge!"... Do you think you can help me to find another church?

-Thomas D. Clark


(Bless you, Thomas)

BBQ for Scurvy Awareness

Missions apparently made my freshman guy friends even more hilarious than they were:

They're having a BBQ to help out everyone's iron to prevent (mostly provide awareness of) SCURVY.



Chantey, I especially think you should go, as you're admittedly attracted to men who look like pirates.

AAAR!

Am I Into 'He's Just Not That Into You'?

Justin Long became cute to me, something I previously thought impossible.

Scarlett Johansson is (spoiler alert) a WENCHFACE. News flash- on camera and off, you really don't ooze sexy, ScarJo, plus you're married, so save the myth for Ryan.

Drew Barrymore has really bad teeth.

Jennifer Connelly looked too old for her role (and I think she's beautiful).

Jennifer Aniston is still the tragic all-American girl-next-door we love to see suffer.

Ginnifer Goodwin was adorable, although I still despise her for being a Big Love wife.

Bradley Cooper is hot. I was almost excited for the movie to end because then I knew he wasn't just a (spoiler alert) bad jerk, but just an actor again.

Same with Ben Affleck because even though (spoiler alert) he's a good person in the movie, afterwards you're excited because you smile thinking of him at home with Jennifer, Violet, and Seraphina.

Kevin Connelly- he should never be gay because as if he wasn't already the antithesis of Bradley Cooper hotness, (spoiler alert) the purple shirt made me want to gag. He reminds me of those fat older men way past their prime of suave who lied out on the beach with gold chains nestled into their hairy chests as they played bocce and drank beer (don't ask me why).

And here's an excerpt from THE book.

Anonymous commenters may take delight in the fact that seeing this movie would be a taste of my own medicine, what with my Hairschool-gate scandal last October (keep flaming at me, it greatly entertains me and my friends).


But I actually enjoyed the movie.

In a nutshell, it was like watching a bullfight at Ventas, which is no more than a pessimistic social statement:
life and relationships are frustrating, so why not watch others suffer to take your mind off your own problems?

Silly Goodies

I've posted the following in hopes your humpday is enlivened.

1)


I stole this from Teen.
We need to BUMP these OUT of Utah, as more poofi-ness is NOT what this state needs. However, if Utah is doomed to stay outdated as it presently is, I may be okay with these if it means the lack of hairspray usage will help the environment (because the quantity in which it is used here is alarming). At EFY, I used to call the girls who ratted their hair like this "tumor-heads," laughed at them and covertly took pictures of their hideousness. They're probably barefoot and pregnant as I type this.


2) Here's last semester's Best of The Daily Universe's Police Beat.
Because we all know it's why people read the DU (that, and Reader's Forum).


3) Stole this from Val's blog:
















4)

Ed Westwick and Helena Christensen in a Harper's Bazaar photo shoot a la 'Mrs. Robinson.' Westwick has said he's the "last of the romantics" (the antithesis of womanizing Chuck Bass). This only makes me fancy him more!














and...


5) Here's a little gem of a video I posted on my Facebook page but thought I'd also share with the blogosphere. Call me a narcissist, but I've watched it probably no less than 200 times to laugh... er, admire how skilled I am (remember, my life is bleaksville and Lipstick Jungle is on hiatus).

It is entitled "Sunday Best."
Enjoy.

Divinely Inspired Pilates

So after pilates class the other day I was fretting: what am I going to do this summer without Pojo's classes?

This thought filled me with sadness in the days that followed...

Then, next class....

LO AND BEHOLD...

she introduced a nondescript-looking film geek hanging out in front, saying he would be around that day taking notes as he was helping her create Pilates/Fitness DVDs in the coming weeks.

I wanted to gleefully shout with every legion of 'Pilates breath' I had in me.
(Actually, no I saved it for 'hundreds.')

But it was all I could do to gush to her afterwards that I would buy every one of her DVDs.

Because you see, I love PoJo (aka Liz).

Her classes are awesome, not to mention super challenging...
but she's genuinely cheerful and self-deprecating ("this is killing me too!") so it doesn't feel like torture.
Some bigger, football-looking guys even come to the class and they are DYING by the end of it.

It works muscle groups that make you look long and lean and I swear, people tell me I've lost weight and my posture is so much better.

If I were Madonna or Gwyneth, PoJo would be my Tracy Anderson (speaking of TA, go to Gwyneth's blog and get a free workout.)




Needless to say, PoJo is awesome, and I can't wait for her DVDs to work me out this summer!

America the Beautiful

For their 50th wedding anniversary, my war-veteran grandfather issued the challenge to all of his posterity that if we learned all 3 verses to 'The Star Spangled Banner' he would give us $50. Word-for-word. If we believed we knew it, he called us into his office and we'd recite it. If we didn't get a word right, we'd have to retry. I can proudly say I was part of the many who succeeded in the challenge. I have been fortunate to come from an educated family that values culture and history all over the world, but has always had a strong and reverent patriotism towards these United States of America.

On this Presidents Day, I am posting below the lyrics to America the Beautiful, which when we sang it at church yesterday, gave me shivers.
Like America, the prose is simply beautiful.
Really, I challenge you to read it and not feel patriotic.


America the Beautiful

O' beautiful, for spacious skies,

For amber waves of grain,

For purple mountain majesties

Above the fruited plain!

America! America! God shed His grace on thee,

And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.

O' beautiful, for pilgrim feet

Whose stern, impassioned stress

A thoroughfare for freedom beat

Across the wilderness!

America! America! God mend thine ev'ry flaw;

Confirm thy soul in self control, thy liberty in law!

O' beautiful, for heroes proved

In liberating strife,

Who more than self their country loved

And mercy more than life!

America! America! May God thy gold refine,

'Til all success be nobleness, and ev'ry gain divine!

O' beautiful, for patriot dream

That sees beyond the years,

Thine alabaster cities gleam

Undimmed by human tears!

America! America! God shed His grace on thee,

And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea!

Sociopathic wonderment

I am intrigued by the unstable...namely criminal minds, or sociopaths...

but I got not-so-hot grades in the two psychology classes I've taken at BYU, so needless to say I haven't explored a degree there.

That doesn't mean you won't find me in a master's program or classes somewhere down the road exploring the subject matter.

But i thought of this man/boy and how disillusioned by him i was, and how now the signs are all crystal clear: he's a SOCIOPATH.

(He fits EVERY description within that link).

From my bipolar 'friend' in high school to this crazy fool, I really know how to pick 'em.
Why me? What is it about me that attracts such unstable people?!

I know I'm unstable at times and I have to closely monitor it through healthy things like exercise and channeling my energies into my passions, but why why why do I find myself dealing with these kinds of people?

Although, I have learned a lot about myself, and even though high school was hell with said friend and a couple weeks ago with said man/boy, I wouldn't trade the experiences for anything.
Because to have two markedly abusive experiences under my belt at such a young age, and to have come out of it stronger and wiser instead of eternally scarred: I think that's a victory. It's almost as if I've been vaccinated with antibodies of abuse!

It reminds me of this very odd Book of Mormon teacher I had freshman year who didn't think there was anything weird with writing "Israel" on his garden rake to remind his kids while they did yard work that raking leaves was like "gathering Israel"...yeahhhh.
I had a discussion with one of my floormates who took the class with me, and we came to the conclusion that he's the sort of person who enjoys trials. Enjoys the process of feeling the adversity and the strong feeling of the Lord's hand in his life while he (and his family) recovers from it.

(And speaking of unstable people, I think there is something a tad odd with most of the BYU Religion Department, except for this sweet grandpa-figure teacher I had once for a "International LDS Church" class - take Prof. Don Cannon, he's a doll. Oh, and Prof. Richard Walsh, he just loves everyone, and the feeling is not only palpable, but mutual).

Well I apologize to whom this following statement may be offensive, but I think trials are hell as you go through them.
The doubt, the uncertainty, the hopelessness, the feeling that you've been forgotten by God. And of course, there's comfort to be drawn in scriptural passages and friends (if they aren't the source of your adversity), and church, but seriously, the silver lining is always the brightest part. Even if that silver lining means you only came out of the adversity stronger.

But oh, the hell it puts you through...such a manic existence I lead sometimes...

If you're feeling down today...

Because I'm not feeling down today but I know many who are, here's Betty's advice for you.

She has more life experience and wisdom and heartache in love than I do...

Basically, the gist is being proactive and doing things to improve yourself from the inside-out, and naturally, you'll become an even more loved (not to mention desirable) person.
And I couldn't agree more.
It's powerful. Read it.

Robin Williams on Election '08

Doing what he does best... to a crowd of Brits, no less...

There are too many funny things about this, seriously, you must watch it for yourself.




Speaking of crazy Brits, here's a silly story.

"You guys want some cookies?"

Thin Mints and Do-Si-Dos are a-coming...

As soon as March 13 (my half birthday...holla).

Back in the day as a Brownie, I sold over a hundred boxes (my mom bought 17 of them) so I could get a free t-shirt.
When my troop had the cookie selling awards ceremony, receiving said shirt was pretty anti-climatic. Which didn't take away from the fact I still slept in it almost every night (I would not be seen in public with that Barney-purple piece of clothing).

I digress...now because my friends and I don't know any local cookie-selling tramps ourselves, HERE are the Provo booth locations.

Let's not think about the recession's effect, okay?

So maybe...

So maybe my yoga teacher last night talked and looked like Michael Scott.


And weirdly, I was extremely focused. All the uppity inflection really balances my chakras, apparently.


Maybe today I snowboarded solo and did pilates with PoJo.

So maybe yogadownload.com is really cool, even cooler than doing Barron Baptiste in Spain on my laptop.

So maybe I learned how to do this....


and it excites me.

So maybe I hope you love the new Burnt Mustard music player: it comprises some of my current iTune faves.

So maybe Gwyneth Paltrow's personal blog is sophisticatedly adorable.

So maybe I got an internship offer.

So maybe with the help of physical therapy, yoga/pilates, massages, botox, and nixing my former 'power pump' routine, my neck is far less tense than it was even 2 months ago. YAY.

So maybe EJ enlightened me about BYU's best kept secret (if I was left out in the dark for this long, its a secret): BYU Laundry Dry-Cleaning!
It's uber cheap and they do a great job - (only BYU students allowed, so heads up hair schoolers- you'll have to put it on your Cougar boyfriend's signature card).

So maybe EJ has the best 4th-day hair I've ever seen.

So maybe I lost my flash drive and am offering a great reward for it. Black Kodak 2 GB. Pleeeease!

So maybe I am happier than I've ever been approaching this Valentine's Day: with an attitude of "Psh, spare me the Provo clowns" and a wiff of my back hand...

...I will go see "He's Just Not That Into You" with Kate....

...who maybe had a glorious non-committal hookup weekend in L.A., came home and said "Everything about him is wonderful...his only flaw is that he isn't fathering my children."
(And maybe I laughed for hours about that one.)

Maybe seeing that movie is ironic on V-day? No, I think not.
While others are gorging themselves with chocolate and roses, we'll enjoy the Ben Affleck/Bradley Cooper eye candy.
Mmm, thank you.


and last and certainly not least...

Maybe I love

Michelle Obama's Vogue Shoot.

A musing a la Carrie B

Once when we were bored in class, Mad and I were note-passing back and forth (the beauty of college, you can pass notes without fear of scolding) and we came to this epiphany on the ubiquitous Provo quickie marriage...to the tune of our favorite superheroine, Carrie Bradshaw.


Is marriage a glorified hookup, a glorified letdown...or justifiably glorified?


We were talking how around UV, we see mainly the first two stated.
Please enlighten us, should you feel so inclined.

Toxic, but I didn't slip under

By my own bored fault, I recently had a brief run in with a very toxic substance.

I learned a lot of things through the interaction, mainly confirming that the idiom "misery loves company" is quite real and alive in the world.

Overall, I learned that there are extremely clever people in the world who are insecure, miserable and have deep issues they cunningly disguise with humor, smarts and interesting goals.

However, the aforementioned issues rear their head when they cruelly project that same misery on others to fool themselves into a false sense of superiority.

The only reason I was drawn to this toxicity was because I was intrigued I couldn't figure out said substance (even offering a visit to better understand...shudder).
But now that I have it figured out, it's an ugly reality that there are people like this who roam the earth, unbeknown to the unsuspecting victims on whom they prey.

As a naturally trusting person, it's sobering to have an experience like this. But I am grateful for a keen mind, a deep level of spirituality and community of good people around me to help me on this life path of discernment. It also breaks my heart to know that for many, it's too late.

You know who you are, and if you are reading this, I only wish the best for you - that you find ways to project your energy positively and respectfully.

My Mom: Closet Motown Queen

It's my fabulous mother's big 4.................2-9th birthday today, so in honor of her, I will post some of her 25 facts she wrote about herself (she read over my list, and did her own):


"I take serious naps.

I don’t set difficult goals.

I like silly movies.

Bread, butter, and a big salad is my favorite meal.

Wildest dream: have someone dry and style my hair every day.

Riding in the back seat makes me carsick.

Lifelong career fantasy: sing backup in a Motown group

(Along with Sound of Music, Dreamgirls is her favorite movie. The first time she saw it, her hallucinating expression made me think she had died and gone to heaven.)

My hero: my mom

I did comedy skits on the radio

I’m not a very 'deep' person.

One of my children weighed 10 lbs. 13 oz. at birth. I believe in epidurals.

Most embarrassing moment: on Password, the TV game show.
[due to nerves/being pregnant with me, she blatantly gave out the word. TWICE.]

My parents knew my husband 25 years before I did.

Moment I knew he [my dad] was “the one”: he held my hair back while I threw up. "

Haha! Love her.

As a mother, she is the most caring. giving and unconditionally loving person I've ever known, not to mention one of the funniest.

Here's her fulfilling one of her lifelong dreams of meeting a member of Earth, Wind and Fire backstage at their concert last year:



It's no wonder she loves Beyonce's "Single Ladies" song
("the 'call and response' is so powerful"),
and hopes she and Jay-Z stay together...


And likes the movie 'Roll Bounce'...

Happy Birthday Mom! Love you!

It shoulda been...

Mitt.

I love the man.


I also love Marc Jacobs and Chris Martin (and Co.).

Because when I couldn't find my umbrella and walked in the pouring rain to class yesterday, I had MJ galoshes on and "Death and All His Friends" in my ear, and all was okay with the world.


Oh I also love Robert Redford, because he made Sundance.
And kissed my mom way back when- true story.


I should probably link this post to some story about an update on Gaza, but I'm not feeling intellectual right now...

I miss New York- please judge that,
A

Just in time for Friday

It's Friday.
Crap.
I hate Provo weekends.

Here's some hilarity to tide us over this current fin de semana.

If you don't know what a Snuggie is by now, you're a martian (yes I just name called you, how childish of me).
Here's the whole Today Show with them on:



If you hadn't seen the Snuggie Parody, welp here ya go (courtesy of my sis the YouTube addict):



And I wish I had seen the following two days ago, but alas, I'll settle for now:



(I love all the rollerblader aficionados hate comments at the bottom.)



(I love that they have to enunciate the t-i-d-d-y.)


And..... I usually don't think home YouTube videos of little kids are that hilarious, but I quite literally had tears running down my face, shaking with laughter about sweet little David (below):




Here's to another bleak weekend in the UV!

My Happy Place

Yesterday's Mother Teresa wisdom came to you fresh from the facebook profile of my friend Tara who is at school in Edinburgh but she seems to never go to school as she's always somewhere besides Bonnie Scotland...

I checked her profile to see what she was up to and sure enough, she was not in the United Kingdom.

As awful as a day I was having and wanted to slip off to Morocco (her current position) to be with her....

I had a breakthrough.

I'm moving up to SLC in the fall...and I was up there yesterday for a couple appointments and can I just say a special place found in Sugarhouse made my day.

As soon as I saw the spreads of vegan butter, agave nectar and various flavors of baba ganoush, I was rendered euphoric.

Literally, stifling screams and squeals of glee.

If you couldn't guess already, this happy place - my happy place - is Whole Foods Market.



I used to live about 2-3 blocks from the Union Square NYC one.
And even though the Sugarhouse salad bar is about the third the size of the Union Square one- I'll take it.

SLC, here I come. I can't wait.


(PS: Here's a funny little ditty about how Facebook ruined this Reuters blogger's life)

Do It Anyway

I've been having a really rough time lately...

And though you could say I've just "temporarily lost my stride," I do know it is not my best self. But I also know it is still myself- which is depressingly realistic.

Enter the wisdom of Mother Teresa to help me put things in perspective, however downright bleak life may be for me right now.


"Do It Anyway"

A Poem by Mother Teresa

"People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered,
Forgive them anyway

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives,
Be kind anyway

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies,
Succeed anyway

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you
Be honest anyway

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous
Be happy anyway

The good you do today people will often forget tomorrow,
Do good anyway

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough,
Give the world the best you've got anyway

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God,
It is never between you and them anyway."

RIP Greenmarket Legend

One of my favorite things to do in New York is peruse the Union Square Greenmarket, a wildly popular venue where locals, in-the-know tourists and celebs alike (I saw Julianne Moore there, Rachael Ray is supposedly a regular, uppity restaurants like Union Square Cafe buy their ingredients there) get their produce, baked goods and dairy products fresh from Upstate farmer proprietors.

It's a unique place in the city-- there is an ambiance of community as you look around at the fresh spreads of produce and people, then wander your gaze to the building skyline above.

It's really fun to see the city and countryfolk find common ground in a shared love of food.


But the Greenmarket gem of them all was Joe Ades, who friends and I called the 'vegetable peeler extraordinaire.'

(Photos courtesy NY Serious Eats)

We would always, ALWAYS, stop to listen to his five-minute shtick, and usually buy yet another peeler because we reasoned we probably had an aunt somewhere who would want one ;)

He was once featured in Vanity Fair ("Julia Roberts on the cover, me in the middle") and the NY Daily News: things he proudly showed off to support his selling point- 'You can't survive day after day on the streets of NY unless your product works!'...

And I also spotted him in the opening credits of the movie Definitely, Maybe (just fyi: Ades is the star of it).

Well, Joe died on Sunday. And this tribute to him basically sums up my and many other New Yorkers relationship with him.

I will sorely miss his presence when I return to the city, because he was one of the many reasons why I love NY.

Overheard in Provo

Last Friday I did a little experiment a la Overheard in New York and these happened to be the most audible convos I eavesdropped...never mind they were coincidentally very quintessentially BYU.


Girl #1: So he didn't really think they were "dating" quote on quote (hand gestures), but that's what she thought.
Girl #2: Oh. my. gosh!

-- Bottom of 800 N 200 E ramp walkway up to campus



Guy: Wow, so I heard you're engaged! Show me the ring!
Girl: (Shows ring, hand positioned in the universal, inverted flexed 'show-off-the-ring' pose)

--Middle of ramp



Girl: (obviously wrapping up conversation) It's good to see you...
Awkward/Timid Guy: Yes, soooo....we should hang out sometime.
Girl: Yeah, let's do lunch or...some...thing...
Awkward/Timid Guy: Yeah...lunches...are good. (ensuing mutual giggles). Let me....get your....number...

-- SWKT lobby



I am really not going to miss this place!

I RUV ENGRISH!

Remember my "rucky" day last summer?

If you haven't heard of ENGRISH.com, you are in for a rittle treat....

BREAKING NEWS

My dad has entered the 21st century!!!

For his birthday, my mom got him TiVo for the living room TV.



And his first-hand account response:

"It's great! Now you guys will quit bothering me while you use it out there while I go back to my room and watch what I want in peace!"



Oh Henry, why am I not surprised.