Sociopathic wonderment

I am intrigued by the unstable...namely criminal minds, or sociopaths...

but I got not-so-hot grades in the two psychology classes I've taken at BYU, so needless to say I haven't explored a degree there.

That doesn't mean you won't find me in a master's program or classes somewhere down the road exploring the subject matter.

But i thought of this man/boy and how disillusioned by him i was, and how now the signs are all crystal clear: he's a SOCIOPATH.

(He fits EVERY description within that link).

From my bipolar 'friend' in high school to this crazy fool, I really know how to pick 'em.
Why me? What is it about me that attracts such unstable people?!

I know I'm unstable at times and I have to closely monitor it through healthy things like exercise and channeling my energies into my passions, but why why why do I find myself dealing with these kinds of people?

Although, I have learned a lot about myself, and even though high school was hell with said friend and a couple weeks ago with said man/boy, I wouldn't trade the experiences for anything.
Because to have two markedly abusive experiences under my belt at such a young age, and to have come out of it stronger and wiser instead of eternally scarred: I think that's a victory. It's almost as if I've been vaccinated with antibodies of abuse!

It reminds me of this very odd Book of Mormon teacher I had freshman year who didn't think there was anything weird with writing "Israel" on his garden rake to remind his kids while they did yard work that raking leaves was like "gathering Israel"...yeahhhh.
I had a discussion with one of my floormates who took the class with me, and we came to the conclusion that he's the sort of person who enjoys trials. Enjoys the process of feeling the adversity and the strong feeling of the Lord's hand in his life while he (and his family) recovers from it.

(And speaking of unstable people, I think there is something a tad odd with most of the BYU Religion Department, except for this sweet grandpa-figure teacher I had once for a "International LDS Church" class - take Prof. Don Cannon, he's a doll. Oh, and Prof. Richard Walsh, he just loves everyone, and the feeling is not only palpable, but mutual).

Well I apologize to whom this following statement may be offensive, but I think trials are hell as you go through them.
The doubt, the uncertainty, the hopelessness, the feeling that you've been forgotten by God. And of course, there's comfort to be drawn in scriptural passages and friends (if they aren't the source of your adversity), and church, but seriously, the silver lining is always the brightest part. Even if that silver lining means you only came out of the adversity stronger.

But oh, the hell it puts you through...such a manic existence I lead sometimes...