The infamous Charita

My mom and I are really good friends....

We joke sometimes how we were in the premortal existence and played rock/paper/scissors to decide who would come down to Earth first.

...such good friends, we have silly pet names for each other. All two of them:

a) Bubbala (a yiddish term for "darling/dearest"...often we clip it to "Bubbs")

or

b) Charita...who I will discuss...


My mom went through the public school system in 1970s Los Angeles, and Charita was a mean black girl...

(I say 'black' in all politically correct detail purposes...it's no secret my mom secretly wants to be African-American)

...who bullied my mom and even threatened to beat her up once (that's when my grandparents offered to put my mom in private school if she wanted).

Yeah, my sweet mom...was apparently some kind of a threat (or perhaps an easy target) of Charita.

(she uses this as her Facebook profile picture. I know, how cool is she. She claims it's so people can laugh at her dorkiness.)

Another fellow University High School Alum of my mom's year was Paris Hilton's mom.
(Don't worry, my mom was invited to THIS reunion but didn't go...and upon getting word of the Hilton appearance, we all had a good laugh).


I digress...anyway, Charita stories:

1) One day my mom is wearing a white shirt and white shorts, skipping along somewhere at school, sees Charita (and her posse) out of the corner of her eye and does everything to go unnoticed. Next thing she knows, Charita is yanking my mom's long ponytail (which trailed down to her hips) and sneers:

"What color you wearin'..."
"Umm...ehhh.....white?" my mom feebly replied.
"I better not be seeing you wearin' that again, you hear!"
"Ok!!!"

2) Another time, my mom and her friend Suzy were in the school bathroom, and Charita demanded to use Suzy's Bonne Bell Lipsmackers lip balm.
Scared out of her mind, of course Suzy wordlessly obliged, and as soon as Charita had used said lip balm and vacated the premises (homegirl posse in tow), Suzy sliced off an inch of the lip balm, averting scary Charita cooties.


And the kicker...

3) One day in the gym locker room, one of Charita's posse called out:
"Charita, you got some lotion? My skin be gettin' ash-EEEEY....umph!!!"

My mom said she and her friends hid behind their row of lockers, giggling (silently) with gaped-mouths and wide-eyes.

My mom will do a shameless imitation of that, upon simple request.
She will also do the Uni High Cheer Squad (of Kathy Hilton fame) football cheer and choreography as well.


So Charita, wherever you are, I hope you know you never cease to be a freakish fascination (and name substitution) for your former bully target and her daughters.

I hope to meet you one day, and I hope you won't beat me up.

Sincerely, Alex