Dear North Shore Lifeguard

I'm only putting this up because I suspect you're too checked out to have any blog perusing know-how, much less internet access...

So, Mahalo for the fun times...

Hilarious...

The Kiwi rub-off and some cliche epiphanies

New Zealand is a really good place to let go ... let go of anger, bitterness, regret, vengeance, and the like... tolerance is our only hope in this world. love our only vehicle.

I am filled with so much love for everyone and to anyone I may have wronged in the slightest, I am sorry.

So much indescribable clarity... (Yes, I'm just shirking the opportunity to explain, but really, the attempt would be unfair).

I wish I could sum all this up...blogging used to be a place for me to outlet some intense boredom, but now that I am just encircled with fun and nonsense, it seems to be an after thought.

In short, I'm so grateful for New Zealand for nursing me back to happiness. And I feel privileged that you would take time to read these thoughts of mine, to stick with me through good and bad times.

Nonsense between and after our movie double feature. nonsense, I tell you. nonsense.

I wouldn't have Neverland any other way!

I am grateful for you.

Videos are the new pajamas

Because I cannot give you all Christmas Eve pajamas via my blog and my sister is forbidding me from posting the pic of my whole fam in our footie PJs from mom, I am posting the top three videos that got me through the semester.

The videos that kept my roommate running into my room to see what the fuss was about.

Yep, it's this one again... Yep, I'm lame... Yep, you're laughing at me... OK...


And like Christmas Eve pajamas, these should come as no surprise to loyal followers, as I've posted these before. But, to follow my first argument, they are funny enough to watch again. And again...

In no particular order, there was AUTOTUNED OBAMA:

TRACY (pronounced "Tray-say")

and...who needs Rosetta Stone when you have MIRANDA teaching you "pretty much a lot of the Mexican language?"

Pixie Dust Personified

So remember how I've been calling New Zealand 'Neverland' since April?

Oh yeah, no big deal,

but I found out my NZ roommate was PETER PAN for Halloween.


If this is not the pixie dust on top of this holiday in the sun (and rain, apparently), then I don't know what is!

Half of my [head's] got a grip on the situation

I thought it was absurd when my high school teachers would harp on us to always be true to who we really were, because teenage years are such a poor prediction of how one is going to lead his or her life.

Since at BYU there is a markedly lesser amount of existential crisis at surface level, these "who am I" questions are significantly more implied.

But I still think it's absurd to believe you have to have yourself figured out.
At least for me, the more I learn about myself, the less I know. So I'm always a little puzzled when people advise me to be true to myself. It's like when my parents would tell me to "just do your best."

They had to add "...with the time you have" to that statement because it was and still is the hardest statement for me to digest.



#MusicMonday - John Mayer's Battle Studies...if you didn't get the title I altered from Half of My Heart

AND of course MirandaSings Christmas Album!!! ;)

Booty shorts ALARM!

So. many. amazing. things...

Haters back off!

So my roommate showed me this outrageous girl "MirandaSings08" on YouTube.

of course, because I am a pseudo-journalist, I had to find out WHO she really was...after a little clicking around turns out she's an actress in the L.A. Broadway community and 'Miranda' is her fabricated YouTube persona.

She basically rips off people who record themselves and think they're famous because of their homemade videos. Genius.


She Wolf. I watch this daily...judge me.




I told my roommate to consult this one for Spanish help...



And this is her in NYC. She explains how to hail a cab around 1:30...SO funny. haha!



I laugh out loud every time.

And here's her (Colleen Ballinger) singing for real.

Hilarious. Ok, I need to go do some sprints or something...I'm clearly crazy.

Miming the law

I'm going to miss giggling about 'prudery,' 'blushing' and M's new stand-up miming career...
"Your hand movements need to be sharper," he said to me as I laughed my way through imitating him.

...while Dr. Ed rambles on about voyeurism (?) ...

(My laugh sounds like chalkboard fingernails. sorry.)

Poker Face

On Halloween, I don't go for themes of 'skank' or 'scary,' but rather hilarity.

Por ejemplo, remember last year when I was Sarah Palin? or when I was a COMPOSER circa age 7? (The link at the end of that post proved an interesting foreshadow to this year's costume- what with the 'popping')


And this year, it was Lady Gaga, naturally... her getups are made for Halloween replication.
I was surprised I didn't see more...

(Blonde wig situation didn't work out... I'm not bitter or anything...)

I'm aware my face looks utterly ridiculous, but I believe part of costuming requires getting into character, hence my fun with Palin's accent last year via self-Method-ing Tina Fey, and this year's GaGa 'thizz face' of sorts...

Bubbles still intact at this point (it proved to be more high maintenance than I envisioned), with with my legit basketballer roommate Mackenzie as GI Jane (anyone who posts videos of Shaq & Dwight Howard dance-offs on my Facebook wall has my strait up respek'...)


Stopped by SpAly's party...they were McCain/Palin last year, and an old married couple this year. I can't wait to see them when we're 70...dressed like 20-somethings again!

The bubbles were falling off at this point, and hair getting static-y.

Yes, I drove in this. I had to recline my seat all the way down to fit in. I could only steer the wheel in 4 inch increments. Kids stared. I felt like a marshmallow (or the gauche version to the Carrie Bradshaw limo wedding dress moment). Rad.

And shout out to Amanda: I'm sad I missed you! And Criz, you too!


Then home after a rollicking time (poker face) on the town to watch the end of the Yankees/Phillies in my leotard.


How much longer until Thanksgiving? ;)

New hobby!

You know its a new hobby when your mind races with thoughts of future creations...

To send my card to your nearest and dearest, go here!

xo

Keep calm, carry on, and be cool

Okay, so I am having massive doubts about being Lady Gaga for Halloween (the jig is up)...

(photo via NYT)

My goal was hilarity, but I am afraid it will be a big flop and no one will understand the depth of hot mess I set out to portray. A bad sign was when one of my most up-to-date fashionista friends could not recall THE bubble outfit until I showed her the above.

I think I will just be a chic bunny, instead? I mean, rabbit ears are in vogue too right now!

photo via here

and via here

Also, speaking of les Parisienes ...
I am bursting at the seams wanting to recap the following story about my cousin who is studying abroad there ...
Because of her desired anonymity, I will share the bare minimum, yet still enough to make us all swoon and sigh.

Basically, a really cute boy (who is in lurrrve with her) flew to Paris for the weekend...

because he missed her.


They aren't even "dating" (yet...no pressure!) but had a magical time.

Je suis jaloux.

I Skyped with her for 45 minutes today for the details when I maybe should have been studying, and for the rest of the day, I was grinning.

Sometimes I really don't know why I'm so cool! Je nais se qois, anyone? ;)

xoxo

Another one for the Garden State!

Remember "Chandeleeeahhhs"??!!

Few things are more astonishing or more laughable than a nice thick Jersey accent.

Like a Malawian baby or a poodle

Every Monday at 8 PM, I can be found grinning ear to ear with glee gawking at Gossip Girl.
(If I am eating my weight in Diego's chicken nachos, I will be squealing too).

However, even though episode 1 filled the void, I was skeptical.

But episode 2? DELICIOUS. I laughed so hard at Chuck's quote I actually, upon request, verbally repeated it back to my roommate who was in and out.

(“For people like us, a college degree is just an accessory, like a Malawian baby or a poodle.” - It got it's own +1 here)

Episode 3:...MEH. Sotheby's auctions and money is getting boring. Back to the drama, please!!

Episode 4: Lizzie McGuire Goes to College. Over it. The best part was again, Chuck Bass's quote along the lines of "NYU men don't wear shoes, they wear sandals."

CANNOT wait for Episode 5, when Georgina is back to liven things up. Pardon my French, but vicarious bitching never felt so RIGHT.

Also, sometimes I pretend like I'm a cool pseudo-hipster (you know the ones that subsist solely on coffee, cigarettes, and crack) but really, I do love love love the music they play and compulsively download it as soon as I find out what it is.

Phoenix? LOVE. Try this and this.

That is all.

"At first blush..."

Remember that law book that has left me on the verge of tears a few times?

Today it made me smile!

In delivering the Court's opinion in Cohen v. California (that found it was unconstitutional to convict a man (Cohen) wearing a jacket in a federal courthouse with "F*** the Draft' on it), Justice Harlan said:

"The case may seem at first blush too inconsequential to find its way into our books, but the issue it presents is of no small constitutional significance."


In the pages that followed, the opinion kept stating "the four-letter word" in a rather cheeky (pun intended!) way, as if the justices were giggling to themselves as they skirted the obscenity.

Nerd alert for sure...oh school...

photo via here

People dissection

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Here are excerpts from the latter part of the above quoted:


5Ws: Kate (pictured) and me, dinner, last Friday night, at MAZZA 9th and 9th Sugarhood... because we needed to get out of the bubble.

(Nerd by day. People watcher by night. Don't let the glasses fool you...)

The quirky mix included:
a) wonder bread white family that looked totally out of place but their assured expressions said otherwise.

b) the innocent U-but-may-as-well-been-from-BYU couple with the 'rescuer' male and 'i'll gracefully giggle at your lame jokes for the rest of eternity if you save me from single-dom' blonde female counterpart.

c) the persian group going to town family-style.

d) the 4-top of quirky hipster denizens who were fabulously nonconformist but could have used 5 more minutes in the shower.

e) an attractive man species with a gal who, if we had looked at him for 2 seconds longer, would have straight up murdered us with her A-pocket Sevens.

ALSO
as we checked out the lesbian couples (all 2 of them) and wondered for the 2498435 time aloud how gay we ourselves looked (2 parts concerned, 7 parts comically) ... is when I grab Kate's knee (to properly tell a story) and the waitress walks by.

EXCELLENT.


And let's not forget 'lumber jack' waiter who we both made eye contact with for a good 4 seconds, then giggled, then looked up again only to realize he had turned around to look at us again.
Hysterical.

'Lumber Jack' was a dark scruffy pirate type ... think Josh Kelley meets Johnny Depp.


After some other Sugarhood shenanigans, we drove home and my jaw hurt from laughing so hard.


I need to get out more often.
xo

You thought my obsession was waning

But you thought wrong.

I cannot help my Sesame Street kick...because could MOBAMA get any more awesome?

I don't recall Barbara or Hillary on in my SS days...Lame.



Laughed my head off at Big Bird's statements starting at 1:20 ... what a goon!


And don't worry, NY Mag has a Michelle Obama Look-Book that they've updated since Election Night. Yes, I've looked through all the pictures...can you say cardigan-envy?!?

Sesame Street Mad Men

I do not kid on this one...



Why weren't they this clever circa 20 years ago??

Another Sesame memory:

When I was little I was afraid of our pool vacuum cleaner...

(you know, the contraption that rolls around the bottom and attaches to the side via a tube?)...

...so I called it OSCAR and shrieked whenever it came near.


I lived on the beach until I was 11, so never mind that before the pool, I had most likely been swimming with stingrays, sharks and other little Pacific Ocean critters...

Most likely with Al, my childhood partner in crime...

Just about the cutest thing.

The last time math was fun was when my middle school algebra teacher did a "NEAR...FAR" Grover imitation (with hands flailing- he was hysterical) to better explain the concept of positive and negative numbers.

What's your favorite Sesame Street memory?

22 in 2

I am 22 in 2 weeks.

My due date 22 years ago was September 1. Thanks mom, for carrying me an extra 12 days. Fortunately, I compromised by weighing in at a mere 9 pounds, 8 ounces: the smallest of my sisters, mind you- (I still am at 5' 11 & 3/4")

I don't subscribe to astrology, but I still find light amusement in chick magazine horoscopes (don't we all).

(Kate even declared her college major on a Cosmo quiz's results.)

This one, I think, is the most shockingly downright true reading I've seen.


VIRGO (August 23-September 22)

The forecast: Count on the new moon to offer fresh perspective after weeks of soul searching.

(THANK YOU SUMMER! And hello, fall sweaters and scarves! I've missed you guys!)

Work mode: In the zone. Mercury refocuses your waning attention- that means you'll spend less time uploading your Labor Day montage to Flickr and more time knocking out that must-do list.

(Ever since I got back to Provo, I've been in zombie mode. I've forgotten things like chocolate bars in my desk and calling people back. Whoops.)

Love life: A new crop of guys is ripe for the picking, but remember: The best ones aren't always in easy reach.

(HA)

Shabbat Shalom

image found here

Wow. Happy Sunday, everyone.

In case you were wondering: there are 13.5 million Mormons in the world...and 13.2 million Jews.

Wow.